101+funny+things

101 FUN THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals

throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10″. 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk, anyway?” 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.” 17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!” 20. Put M&M’s on layaway. 21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles. 24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!” 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down. 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?” 30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?” 31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 32. Take bets on the battle described above. 33. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.” 35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him ” I need some tampons!!” 36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 37. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags. 40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?” 41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store. 42. Two words: “Marco Polo.” 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. 44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics. 45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms 46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!” 49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible “sex and candy” 52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!” 56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!) 58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible. 59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room. 60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels. 62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them 63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions. 64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good bessie.” 66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” 69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don’t realize it! 70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!” 71. Hit on the elderly. 72. Hit on 5 year olds. 73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat. 74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray. 75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc. 76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture. 77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you. 78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying. 79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend. 80. Excesively use anything thing that says “Try Me”. 81. Start pocketing any and all free samples. 82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You digust me” Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl- like as you can 83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too. 84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)” “Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc. 85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure. 86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as your can. 88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department 90. Put lingerie in the men’s department. 91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around. 92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little attention” Then run away crying. 93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized. 94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming “NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t light the zippo, just hold it closed. 95. Light a match under a spinkler. 96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get my shot gun”. Then walk away. 97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy. 98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this” 99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone. 100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?” 101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless. BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.

Fun things 2 do

2. Complete Final Fantasy VIII 3. Read 'War and Peace' 4. Write a poem of epic proportions 5. Be a stalker 6. Be stalked 7. Make your own genetically modified Pikachu 8. Clone yourself 9. Perform psychological experiments on the clone 10. Kill your parents phone bill 11. Kill your parents 12. Plan someones murder 13. Carry out someones murder 14. Watch every Buffy episode in order non stop 15. Read Wuthering Heights 16. Take the piss out of Wuthering Heights 17. Stamp Hamsters 18. Feed The worms 19. Have a near death experience 20. Do prank phone calls to a 'friend' 21. Streak at Wimbledon 22. Blow up the channel 4 offices 23. Put on your own production of The Rocky Horror Show 24. Join the Mafia 25. Try to leave the Mafia 26. Be a bad influence on your friends 27. Learn all the lyrics to American Pie 28. Develop an obsession with Tony Head 29. Kidnap a celebrity 30. Learn the play a musical instrument badly 31. Get the work 'hmmm' or 'paroxysm' into every sentance 32. Take over the world 33. Dedicate your life to proving the exixtance of Extra terrestrials, Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster or Dracula 34. Go around telling everyone you are the chosen one 35. Stake a vampire 36. Become a vampire 37. Go around telling everyone that Giles is the god of acoustic guitar 38. Pretend you're in a musical and burst into song at the slightest thing 39. Market a successful line of sharp pointy looking round corners efforty things 40. Assassinate a president 41. Become president 42. Form you own religious cult preferably one that worships Tony Head (Or just join ours) 43. Drive someone insane 44. Dye your hair a drastic colour 45. Become a pyromaniac 46. Become a kleptomaniac 47. Spend a night in a police cell 48. Spend a year on death row 49. Eat nothing but jelly beans for a month 50. Don't sleep for a week 51. Drive to all 50 States of America 52. Form your own army 53. Invade a small country with your army 54. Walk to London 55. Make some crop circles and watch the response 56. Get abducted by Aliens 57. Abduct an alien 58. Get addicted to a tacky American soap 59. Form a self help group for your addiction to the tacky American soap 60. Produce your own tacky American soap 61. Start your own Barenaked Ladies tribute band 62. Build a fort ("I'll get some pillows") 63. Find out "Why is there a cowboy in death of a salesman?" 64. Start a major debate over which is better, football or rugby 65. Cause a 50 car pile up on the M6 66. Learn an episode of your favourite TV show off by heart and repeat it constantly to your friends 67. Discover your own mathematical theory 68. Convert a Jehovah's Witness to Christianity 69. Perform a human sacrifice 70. Build a full scale replica of the Empire State Building using only lego bricks 71. Tell a small child that Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy isn't real 72. Defy the laws of gravity 73. Watch The English Patient without falling asleep 74. Become a Bond Girl 75. Failing that become a prostitute 76. Crossbreed dolphins with sheep to form leaping mutton and become the first person to devlope wet look knit wear 77. Discover what a fake green dress is 78. Discover what a hydrofield is 79. Join the Chilean government 80. Send Christmas cards in February 81. Stand a street corner and chant Latin at passers by 82. Learn a foreign language 83. Make your own language 84. Make your own version of Titanic where the ship doesn't sink 85. Appear on the Weakest link and punch Anne Robinson 86. Walk into a Burger King and ask where the nearest McDonalds is 87. Go into a 5 star restaurant, order the moat expensive thing on the menu, eat it and leg it without paying 88. Open a small shop in the middle of nowhere and whenever anyone comes in ask "Are You Local??????" 89. Celebrate Halloween in true fashion by going on a mass murder spree 90. Go to a fancy dress party in normal clothes and if anyone asks tell them you're a serial killer, they look just like everyone else 91. Try and find the Forbidden Planet in Manchester (We know where it is!!!!! the guy in tourist information was very helpful, though I think he thought we were crazy) 92. In an Exam write 'I Am A Fish' 400 times, do a funny little dance and faint 93. Speak only in quotes from TV shows 94. Come up with your cliff notes versions classic novels/plays and sell them for a fortune to A level students 95. Get yourself your own internet stalker 96. Go to a Barenaked Laides concert and during $1,000,000 throw Kraft Dinner at them (no, not really, those in the know, don't throw!!!!) 97. Build yourself a robot - no, not for that reason, to play checkers with!!!! 98. Get yourself your very own Sweet Bumpy Minions 99. Fake your own death 100. Keep the dream alive 101. Devise your own list of 101 fun things to do**
 * 1. Buy Final Fantasy VIII

101 ways to get kicked out of mcdonalds

1. yell MCDONALDS USES dead chicken in there nuggets

2. Say the gum on under the tables taste better than their food

3. Attack the guy in the Ronald costume.

4.ask if you can have the wendys single

5. Say macdonldscks

6. Yell out loud, "This aggression shall not stand!"

7. Ask where the burger king is.

8. Get a Togekiss to use Aura Sphere.

9. Have a contest in which the person who eats the most salt packets in 5 minutes is declared the winner.

10. Cry for no reason at all, as if that was your raison d'etre.

11. scream "The burgers are road kill"

12. You punch the manager of McDonald's in the face because he failed to give you a Happy Meal with Extra Happy.

13:Order a quad cheese and chicken burger extra,extra,extra crispy and 12 packets of ketchup and then say"Nah Make a ¡nother one that´s a bit less crispy"

14. Start a food fight!!!

15. Go up to a ronald mcdonald statue and scream "THIS CLOWN HAS A GUN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!"

16. Make an announcement in the store (during rush-hour) and scream "THE BURGERS ARE MADE FROM HUMAN FLESH! RUN BEFORE YOU BECOME FOOD!"

17. Ask for a Whopper

18. Say you'd like a (insert a Sonic drink name besides coke and all that, here)

19. Take a taste of their lemonade, gag, and yell "THIS ISN'T LEMONADE! IT'S DOG PE--" *dragged away by cops*

20. Ask for an extra toy 'cause your dog is hungry.

21. Go up to a little kid and say I HATE UR LITTLE GUTS IM GONNA BEAT YOU UP HUH!!!!DO YOU LIKE THAT!!! DO YOU LIKE THAT!!!! WHAT NOW!!!! chances are the kid will cry and you will be lawed out of all fast food shops in the universe and have to keep a 39814264189274612789461823796 kilometers from children at all times

22. Hey can I use the Ronald McDonald manaquin? He looks like a plunger and my toilets clogged so....

23. Make Ed become a Woodpecker to squish the burgers.

24. Tell Rolf that they use his property as food and tell him to get revenge.

25. Ask the counter guy for his heart bake on his nose tomorrow

26. walk in and say I LOVE MYSELF!!and start huging yourself and rolling on the floor.

27. A new burger king theme is out and you are in McDonalds with your mobile playing the song and then saying that you love it.

28. Thinking that the grill is your couch and sitting on it naked.

29. Say when they burn they're food: "It's better than anything you created in the past, present and future!"

30. Tell Eddy that they stole his money. He'll then attempt to "get it back" (you know what I mean) but then forget all about it and go there to get a whopper.

31. Bring Kirby there.

32. Bring Kirby and Meta Knight there.

33. Tell the employees that Ed makes better food.

34. Tell the manager that the fried chickens at KFC are way better.

35. Stand on a table and scream "This burger taste like dog food!".

36. Tell the employees that they are wasting their time.

37. poop on poeple

38. get a bat and kick poeple and use the bat to blow up cars!!!!

40. Smash the tip jar with a hammer and scream, "MONKEY CRAP!"

41. Yell at the guy who pours the drinks, "Stop peeing in the cups!!!"

42. Drive into the glass door with your car.

43. Run in with a rifle, tricycle, and scuba suit and say you're ready to work.

44. Run behind the counter and spit in the french fries.

45. Get behind the cash register and act like GIR.

46.Tell the manager that your dog loves the Ronald McDonald model...It reminds him of his favourite tree.

47. Take a drink of youre soda and spit it all-over the kid at the other table and say you want a refund.

48. Take Meta Knight there. He'll cut up his food. Everyone will look at him like he's got to heads. He'll say, "What? I like my food cut! So what?"

49. Take Kirby there. He'll eat up all his food, including the trash, and even go for seconds.

50. Say, "There's dead cow in this burger! Can I get another?"

51. Come into the restaurant, sit down and eat a meal from Burger King.

53. While a guy who works there is leaving to go to home, when they come out put sugar in his gas tank.

53. Go up and say to the manager "Um.........what is McDonalds?"

54. Tell their burgers taste like real burgers.

55. Tell the president that McDonalds is cooking and killing cows to make them extinct.

56. Tell the manager what's the point of the building's existance if no one comes to have pleasure.

57. take a gun in and shoot the ronald staute thing then say i have saved the world from the evil clown known best as ronald mcdonald

58. Say "You spit on my burgers"

58. Dress up in a delivery guy costume and show up with a box with the McDonalds logo on it and yell to the manager: "Is this the rat poo you ordered, sir?" Really loud.

59. Say, "YOU ARE NOOBS!!!!!! YOU SHALL GET OWN3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

60. Yell really loudly,"THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

61. Sit on the counter, fart, then spit in the tip jar.

62. Try to get Edd to explain the ingredients of a Big Mac compared to a Krabby Patty.

63. Get Jimmy to eat a Big Mac. He'll then say, "I CAN'T DO IT! IT'S TOO TOUGH!!!"

64. Attempt to get the Kankers to destroy all of McDonald's. They'll then say, "BACK OFF, MISTER! NO ONE'S GONNA RULE THE WORLD AS LONG AS THE KANKERS ARE ALIVE!!!"

65. Slap the manager then shoot the windows apart with a gun.

66. Get on top of the counter and yell out, "Gallade, Psycho Cut!"

67. Tape this poster all over the windows: "You have FAILED! Please die"

68. Dress up like a health inspector and sy "This I would rate a F+ because how much dead cat and raw meat in it." While someone is eating the food you were talking about.

69.Bring the king from the CD-I game ad make him say "Miah boy" until the manager kicks the king and you out.

70.Take the meat out of the burgers and replace them with poop.

71. Go on in!....Wearing a HASMAT(sp?) suit.

72. Ask for pizza then say fine! then I´ll go to Pizza hut. Empolyee: Who needs ya!?

73. Have Sarah destroy it.

74. Have Ganon say, "YOU MUST DIE! Or else you will DIE!"

75. Go on in and say, "This isn't Burger King!"

76. Enter and then say, "Oh wrong place. Excuse me but where is Burger King? They have much better food than you ever will."

77. Blow your nose in a handkerchief in the manager's face.

78. Yell out the lyrics to "Naruto" on top of the counter.

79. Get nausious from their food.

80. Say there's alcohol in the food.

81. Say there's dead animal in the food.

82. Light the Ronald McDonald Statue on fire.

83. Order the Ed shake with a spot of your heart and Eddy fries. Here's $0.00 dollars for it.

84. kick people in the shine wal yelingthis place has horrible servise

85. Punch a customer, then get his drink at throw it at the manager's car.

86. Bring your dog without realizing that no dogs are allowed.

87. Ask for twenty whoppers.

88. Bring Donkey there.

89. Jump on the counter, roll up in a ball, then cry.

90. Spray with graffity on the McDonald's walls MCDONALD'S SUCKS!

91. Have Zim enter thinking he'll rule the world.

92. Put Tom in there with Jerry.

93. Fly in there unexpectedly and yell, "DR. OCTAGONOPUS! BWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

94. Have Jack Sparrow and Davy Jones battle in there thinking it is an arena.

95. Ask for eleventy billion (110,000,000,000) whoppers.

96. Ask for a googol number of whoppers.

97. Ask for an eternity supply of whoppers.

98. We're getting closer...

99. Almost there...

100. Say, "WE HAVE REACHED 100 WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF MCDONALDS!!!" 101.scream lotz